Friday, May 30, 2014

Day 4

Today is Day 4 of a chemo-radiation.  The daily routine so far is - wake up at 5am; meditate; we walk 1.5miles to the hospital in time for a 6.15 am appointment; replace my pants with a hospital gown; lie belly down on the LINAC(Linear Accelerator); two people line up the tattoo marks they made on my pelvis with the machine; receive 3 spurts of radiation; re-robe; walk back to the apartment; home by 7.30 am; eat breakfast; take chemo pills (Capecetabine); business as usual for the rest of the day; more chemo before bed; off to lalaland.

Both chemo and radiation is toxic for the body, since in their journey to remove cancer cells, they can take healthy cells with them.  To wake up and knowingly put huge doses of toxins in my body, in order to heal myself is a paradox that is taking some getting used to, even after I have made well educated decision to do so.  I'm thankful every day to my body for being ready to endure the onslaught, and thanks, rest and what I decide to feed it, is the best that I know I can do.

I reflect now, that chemoRT pales in comparison to the onslaught I've subjected my body to up until now - heavy exercise with little relief, mindless eating, partying like a rock star...not to mention the anxiety!  So as I enjoy a nostalgic moment of the good old days,  I appreciate even more, the chemoRT journey that is just beginning, the journey I'm taking into the good new days!

The good new days begin with many lessons.  Simple lessons that seem to be good pillars for good living - "thanks, rest and I what I decide to feed it" - for example.  Going back to the basics and taking the "granted" out of everything I take for granted. Starting with breathing - our most desperate lifeline, followed closely by water, with eating a distant third.  Only then can I consider my role in this life...and to make bloody sure I don't take that for granted...the role or the life!

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